You have to be your own number one fan—especially at work. Your career is progressing, but like many of us, you are silently struggling with yourself. Creating the self-talk and internal belief systems necessary to become your number one fan can feel far away and unattainable. But today, we’re celebrating your wins, changing your inner dialogue, and giving yourself the credit you deserve.
A couple of weeks ago, we discussed the anxiety-inducing prospect of talking to your boss about career development. Sometimes breaking negative internal habits, like self-talk, takes the same assertive attitude—just with yourself, instead of your boss. But you did that, and you can do this too!
The daily practice of celebrating wins
You’re creating your Weekly Top 3 and celebrating your wins. Check! But did you realize celebrating your success is not a one-time event? The reality is that recognizing the value you bring to your team is an ongoing daily practice. Here’s the thing—it took you years, maybe decades, to develop the thinking patterns you are trying to break. Give yourself some time to put new habits in place.
When you have a win, write it down. Make a space for yourself to celebrate all that you do and bring to the table. By creating constant recognition of your successes, you will have the confidence to advocate for yourself when the time arises.
Advocating for yourself isn’t bragging
No one likes a bragger. We’ve all seen the type: a confident strut accompanied with a puffed-up chest and a slight smirk of superiority—cue eye-roll. By advocating for yourself, you are not that person.
In How to Advocate for Yourself without Feeling Like You’re Bragging, we talked about why it’s essential to speak up on your own behalf. Creating the mindset switch from “oh, I don’t want to bother them” to “this is the value I bring” is HUGE. You are helping your organization. You are leading a team. Articulating that doesn’t mean you’re bragging; it means that you know your value to the organization.
If you are still having trouble celebrating your wins, celebrate the wins of your team. The success of your team is a reflection of you as a leader. Gushing about your team’s success makes them feel appreciated, and it helps you stand out from the crowd.
Crossing boundaries to be a team player
Sometimes advocating for yourself can mean creating boundaries, which can feel uncomfortable. Maybe your boss asks you to complete a task that isn’t “technically” your responsibility anymore. What do you do? How do you stay true to yourself without compromising your reputation as a team player?
Reminding them that a task is no longer on your plate isn’t rude—maybe they forgot. The important thing is to understand that continuing to not speak up for yourself will take away from your mental capacity in the end. You teach people how to treat you, and you set the precedent of how you’d like to be treated. No one else will do that for you.
Aligning your goals and intentions
Mentally preparing yourself for the self-talk necessary to advocate for yourself can feel daunting. But ask yourself what’s worse: addressing the issues you are currently facing or looking back a year from now and being disappointed because you are in the exact same place.
If you have difficulty changing your thinking, take a few minutes on your drive home to celebrate your daily wins. In the morning, set your intentions for the day. Choose three things you’d like to happen every day. These aren’t tasks from your to-do list, but goals and intentions that reflect the person you want to be professionally and personally. Record them in a voice recorder or write them down before you walk out of your car.
Self-doubt is a significant hurdle to self-advocacy. If you struggle with self-doubt, download my free exercises to get rid of your self-limiting beliefs.
Remember speaking up for yourself is not a bad thing. You deserve your seat at the table.
