You’re a high achiever who wants to surround yourself with the best of the best, which is what led you to sports. Most people who transitioned to working from home in the past year didn’t leave behind gameday energy and venues full of fans—but you did.
Working from home hasn’t been a total loss. For many of us, we see that a work-life balance is possible for the first time. This time away from the office has redefined your priorities and made you realize the value in making space for yourself at work. If you’re still unsure about showing up authentically at work, listen to my podcast episode for a pep talk before we get into it.
Here we’re going to take a deeper look at how to take the positive changes of the last year back into the office with you. We’re defining how to get clear on what matters most, set new boundaries, and enforce those boundaries once they are in place.
Get clear on what matters most
Bouncing around between things and situations you don’t want is SUCH an easy trap to fall into. But by getting clear on what you DO want rather than focusing on what doesn’t feel good, you can more clearly and effectively communicate your needs to the people who matter most.
You have a ton of things swirling around in your head—balancing work, family schedules, and conquering that growing list of errands. The 8 p.m. email your coworker sent is enough to send you over the edge. But the truth is, with boundaries in place, a late-night email is no longer a threat.
On my website, I have a free downloadable to help you determine what matters most. This resource will help you get clear on your non-negotiables, so articulating your boundaries will be easier in the future. After working through the download, you (and your team) will know that anytime after 6 p.m. is your family time so that email will need to wait until the morning—or whatever boundaries work for you!
Don’t make stories in your head
How many times have you stopped yourself from acting because of a story you created in your head? The stories we tell ourselves are a HUGE barrier to sticking to boundaries at work.
As women and mothers, we often feel that we are letting others down by creating room for our mental health and sanity. The truth is having an expectation of respect for your time is not a crazy ask. Societal norms around work expectations have gotten out of control, and it’s up to you to teach people how you’d like to be treated.
Of course, you are ready to roll up your sleeves and stay late when it’s time for your big event, but on a regular workweek having a firm end-of-day cut-off time is not an unrealistic expectation. By creating stories about how people around you will react, you directly interfere with your ability to meet your own needs. You aren’t giving the people around you a chance to show up for you. Other people’s reactions are not your responsibility.
The large majority of people value their personal time. You are not unreasonable for wanting that. Let go of the guilt and grant yourself permission to ask for it.
Stick to your boundaries once they’re set
When it comes to boundaries, clarity, communication, and consistency are king. It would be fantastic if you could establish your bottom line and *poof* boundaries are locked in place, never to be violated again. But, of course, that’s an unrealistic expectation.
The whole reason you need boundaries is to protect your time and make interactions with other people just a little bit easier. Setting successful boundaries requires you to communicate expectations clearly with your manager, your team, and immediate coworkers AND stick to them.
People will push your boundaries, some intentionally and some unintentionally. If you can’t respect your own boundaries, how can you expect others to respect them? It’s essential to stick to the promises and expectations you made for yourself. If someone texts you late in the evening, after your stated work time, will you respond? Will you ignore it?
It can be tough to respect your boundaries in the moment; maybe you answer the text, but follow up with that coworker the next day and let them know how you would prefer to be communicated with next time. If you have to say no to an ask someone has of you, don’t feel guilty about it. Instead, be confident and communicate what you can do to help them.
The sad truth is that people will run you ragged if you let them. No one will advocate for you if you can’t advocate for yourself. Be clear, be consistent, and don’t apologize. Remember that your time is JUST as valuable as theirs! Take your seat at the table. You got this!
